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Bondage 101: 5 Things You Need to Know

Posted by MUF Staff on

Bondage 101: 5 Things You Need to Know

If you enjoy reading modern erotica or you have friends who like to experiment sexually, chances are you've heard of bondage. Maybe you're curious about what bondage actually entails or perhaps you simply want to spice up your current relationship. Either way, bondage can be an exciting way to explore your sexuality with a partner you trust. Before you grab the ropes, though, it's important that you know what you're getting into.

1. Bondage requires mutual respect

Bondage requires respect. The goal of bondage is not to impress people or to get your partner's attention. The goal is to share something special, erotic and exciting together. When you choose to engage in bondage activities, you need to make sure that both you and your partner respect each other and the act of bondage.

Before you begin a scene, you need to talk with your partner about your limits. Are there certain acts you are unwilling to try? Are there things you want to try, but are nervous about? Discuss these issues openly prior to your shared scene. Additionally, you and your partner should establish a safe word. This is a word you can use to stop everything if the sensations or the experience becomes overwhelming. "Red" is the standard safe word, though your personal word can be anything from "apples" to "monsters."

2. Bondage requires honesty

When you choose to engage in bondage activities, you need to be able to openly communicate with your partner. This means you need to talk honestly about how you feel both physically and emotionally. Your partner should do the same. While many couples find such openness to be difficult, it's an important part of the bondage experience.

Understand that your partner may know everything about you, but he or she cannot read your mind. If something feels scary, hurts you or brings up a painful memory, you need to use your safe word and tell your partner. Never continue with a scene simply because you think it's what your partner wants.

3. Bondage requires trust

When you're ready to try bondage, you need to trust your partner. This should be obvious. After all, you're allowing someone to tie you up. You're giving them the chance to help you explore your sexuality. You're giving them your submission. You need to be able to trust the person you're with to keep you safe and to push your limits without overstepping your boundaries.

If you feel uncomfortable with the person you're playing with, you need to use your safe word and stop the scene. Even if you've known your partner for a long time, if you do not trust them, you cannot engage in bondage activities with them. While bondage can be a mutually enjoyable experience, it requires complete trust. If you don't trust your partner, you need to stop the scene and figure out why you don't feel comfortable with him or her. Once you've evaluated your feelings and talked with your partner, you can choose to try again or find another person to play with.

4. Bondage requires skill

No good Dominant or Domme acquires their bondage skills overnight. Learning how to properly restrain a submissive takes time and practice. If you choose to play with someone who is new to bondage, that's perfectly fine. Just understand that you will both make mistakes as you learn. Try to take things slow and to practice as much as possible so you can both improve.

Another option is to take bondage classes. Sometimes local clubs or private instructors will offer classes. This offers a safe, relaxing environment in which to learn. Your instructor will be able to offer hands-on help as you learn how to safely incorporate bondage into your relationship.

5. Bondage requires safety

Never forget that you need to be safe. Bondage can be a lot of fun, but it also carries risks. While most people who try bondage understand they need to use a safe word, not everyone realizes there are other steps you can take to be safe.

Anytime you play with a new partner, you should have at least one other person present. While this might seem strange, it's important to have a third party available should something go wrong. This also ensures your Dominant or Domme stays within your limits. Additionally, having an extra set of eyes on you will help ensure your personal safety should your play partner get carried away.

Finally, always trust your instincts. If something feels wrong or weird, speak up. Use your safe word. Never be embarrassed or afraid to stop a scene even if the other person is having fun. Remember that bondage is a mutual experience. If you're not enjoying it, you need to reevaluate the scene.

No matter what sparked your interest in bondage, it's possible to explore this aspect of your sexuality in a safe, exciting way. While it may take awhile to perfect, bondage can bring a new level of excitement to your relationship with your partner or can help you connect with other kinky adults in your area.

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